Hopelessly-Dead

So...it's been awhile. Life is...excellent, in most ways. I've had my job for over a year, and I'm impressed with myself for being able to make it so long at anything. And I love my job, and I still do too. I will be sad when i have to leave, and when i have to lose it. I am madly in love however, with a guy I hardly knew existed when I first met him. Things are pretty well in the way of wonderful, but also a little on the complicated side. It will never be easy. But it's ok. I'm happy. All that really matters.

Just to preface, I don't really feel miserable...but the look of that icon just suits my mood the best. More confused than anything else. Guess I broke up with my boyfriend last night. We're still friends, everything is good. I just...am not attracted to guys. So it won't work. It was the first real relationship I've ever had though...and I learned a few things. Even we dated hardly more than a month. I told him from the very beginning I didn't think it would work. And it didn't. So why do I feel like I should feel bad? Last night he said he wanted to try anyway, that he still wanted to be my boyfriend, even if I didn't think it was

Head is all jumbled, and lately, I can't get it out of the clouds. I'm all mixed up about the things going on in my life. Figure the best thing to do is just sit back, and ignore it. I'll let everything work itself out, because that's probably the easiest way to handle it. And not only that, it's probably the only way that won't get me into trouble. I'm not sure yet if I'm in over my head, but I'll just test out the waters and see. What could go wrong? It's not like I can stop this train. I'm pretty sure the brakes are already broken... And there's no going back.